Dr. Al Danenberg ● Nutritional Periodontist
July 1, 2019 [printfriendly]
A funny thing happened along my cancer journey. But first, some facts:
As a result of my protocols to heal my body “naturally”, I am outliving my oncologist’s prognosis. He has been impressed. My family is elated as am I. My close friends are excited and interested in my updates as I progress. Unfortunately, I am not in remission. But my bone marrow cancer is stable based on my conventional physician’s assessment.
Here’s the rub. My relative stability has triggered a very few people to believe I cried “Wolf” too often. They are disappointed that I have not died yet!
Can you believe this?
Most of my friends and family were shaken by the reality of my mortality. They were emotionally unsettled by my diagnosis and prognosis. Some well-wishers prepared for my imminent death. Based on my explanation of my cancer, many of these guys expected me to die by the end of 2018.
As you know, I’ve written about my unconventional approach to my disease and how my integrated protocol has extended my life expectancy. I am living beyond the expectations of my doctors and the expectations of those who have knowledge about my bone marrow cancer.
But then something unusual happened within my group of well-wishers. A couple of these folks stopped contacting me. They apparently felt I over-exaggerated my terminal disease and embellished the degree of bone destruction caused by this malignancy. They now think I am overplaying my hand to gain their empathy and sorrow.
They are wrong. My fight is real. I have my ups and downs. I’m certainly not apologizing for not having died already. My days are precious, and I try to make them as meaningful as I can.
A Change of Heart
Do you know people whom you believed to be your friends under both normal and challenging circumstances but suddenly changed their feelings about you? Could you put your finger on the reasons they had a change of heart? I’ve given this some thought.
Maybe it’s because they expected a certain outcome, and you proved them wrong. Maybe your vulnerability brought them closer to you, but when you proved to be stronger than they expected, they retreated. Maybe some people were OK with you as long as you stayed within their groupthink. But if you wandered outside of their mindset, they felt threatened or envious. But maybe they fooled you and never were on your side from the beginning.
Two scenarios unrelated to my medical concerns come to mind:
1. You are in a local social group where everybody is doing as well as each other. But you are entrepreneurial, and you can see “outside of the box”. You start exploring a new idea that could elevate you beyond your social group by making a significant contribution to society, earning worldwide recognition, and gaining financial success. You begin to move forward with your plans, and you are beginning to see progress. To many in your social group, they will welcome your accomplishments with sincerity and gratitude. However, there might be a few members of your local cadre who become envious of your achievements. They think, “How could he become so much more successful than I am?” These jealous “friends” hope you will fail in your endeavors so that you return to the humdrum within their circle of status quo.
2. You have written a book – a book that gets excellent reviews. As a result, you are asked to speak as an expert at different conferences throughout the US. Yet, you may never get an invitation within the 20-mile radius of your home. You are not seen as an “expert” in your hometown. Maybe this is part of the cynical nature of your social klatch who knew you before as just a “good old boy” who could never advance beyond your roots.
Not So Funny
Come to think of it, none of this is funny. It is sad. It is unfortunate that there may be people who wish harm or misfortune to come to others rather than success. Some people have such low self-esteem that they feel threatened by anyone within their clique who advances beyond them. Many of these people are suspicious of anything that goes against the “norms”.
I guess this is the way of the world in which we live today.