My Cancer Journey
– My Recent Meditation –

Dr. Al Danenberg ● Nutritional Periodontist

September 26, 2021 [printfriendly]

Once again, I’m revealing my vulnerability by being transparent.

All along my cancer journey, I’ve had bouts of strong emotional moments – some exhilarating, some depressing. I’ve experienced some of my most intense feelings while I meditated.

 

Meditation

I discovered meditation years ago. And it always came easy to me.

My bedroom is the best place for me to meditate. I turn off all the lights and digital gadgets, and I make sure the room is quiet and cool.

Then, I simply lie down in bed, close my eyes, concentrate on my breaths, and allow whatever thoughts to flow. Usually, I meditate for 20-30 minutes, 2-3 times a week.

My thoughts generally are varied and insightful. Most represent some of the tasks I want to complete; some are only fleeting ideas; but a few relate to my death and moving on. Most of the time, they don’t disturb me. They are comforting and pleasant.

While not religious, I have a strong spiritual belief. I believe my immortal soul resides in my physical body. My soul has allowed me to meditate easily and accept whatever the universe brings. I know where my soul is going after it enters the spirit world. And for me, this is calming and a beautiful thing.

 

My Recent Meditation

A few days ago, I was meditating. This time, I had more vivid and detailed thoughts than I ever had. Yet, I was saddened with the visions that came to me.

A stream of consciousness exploded in my mind during this meditation. Its intensity was rare for me, but I allowed my mind to let whatever wanted to flow in, to come in.

In my mind’s eye, I relived my life with my mom and dad. It seemed that I scanned my life with them starting with the earliest days when I was 3 years old, and my sister was born.

I could see myself at home with my uncle when my mom and dad returned home from the hospital carrying my newborn sister.

After that vision, I fast forwarded to many life’s moments until my dad, and then years later my mom, passed away.

But I felt tears rolling down my cheeks!

• I could not remember any time over all those decades that either my mom or dad said to me, “I love you.”
• And I couldn’t recall any time during those decades when my mom or dad hugged or kissed me.

I’m sure my mom and dad hugged and kissed me. But why couldn’t I see those moments in my meditation?

And then I thought,

• “Do my kids feel unloved?”
• “Do my kids remember the love I have felt for them?”
• “Do my kids know the love I have for them today?”
• “Have I let them down as I perceived in this meditation that my parents let me down?”

Those thoughts upset me!

Near the end of my meditative state, I visualized my two adult children. Both live several hours away from my wife and me. Distance, life’s responsibilities, and my physical limitations have kept my wife and me from traveling long distances to visit.

There must be a reason why these visions came to me as they did a few days ago.

 

Today

Today, I know I’m doing amazingly well! I have survived and thrived because of my Unconventional Cancer Protocols. However, I know there will be a time when I will succumb to the complications of multiple myeloma. I am OK with this.

My goal is to continue the quality life I am enjoying now for as long as possible! And to make memories with those I love.

But my recent meditation gave me pause. I thought, “Is something going to happen to me soon?”

I need to be sure that my kids have felt the love and respect my wife and I have for them. While I am sure they know, there is a purpose to my recent meditative enlightenment that I need to act on.

It’s time for me to create another lasting memory with both my adult children, my beautiful 3 grandkids, and of course the pillar of my life – my wife!

If you’re a parent or you have a significant other, isn’t it time for you to give those you love another warm hug and a loving kiss? Hugs and kisses never get old. And you’ll never be able to give too many of them.

 

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