My Mind is Abuzz
– Dreams, Meditation, Depression –

Dr. Al Danenberg Nutritional Periodontist
January 28, 2019 [printfriendly]

 

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My mind is abuzz. This Blog is a result of what’s going on in my head. It is very personal, but I want to share my experiences with you. By writing about this, it may help someone else out there. If nothing else, it might be an interesting read. It’s definitely therapeutic for me to put it into words.

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My Treatment Plan

My personal fight and journey with my diagnosis of IgA Kappa Light Chain Multiple Myeloma have followed an unconventional path. To treat this disease, I am taking many supplements, incorporating intermittent fasting, eating a strict autoimmune and nutritious diet, living a “clean” lifestyle, and using efficient Pulsed Electromagnetic Field (PEMF) therapy several times a day,

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By my way of thinking, I have an exceptional attitude. I knew what I was getting into after I was diagnosed with this incurable bone marrow cancer. I was “OK” with the eventual outcome as long as I could live out the remaining years of my life with quality and dignity. I decided not to expose my body to caustic chemicals to prolong my life. Longevity has never been my goal; quality of life with dignity has always been my goal.

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My ongoing treatment approach involves establishing a healthy gut microbiome and mucosal layer, supporting my immune system, reducing chronic systemic inflammation, improving my bone metabolism, killing off malignant plasma cells, repairing dysfunctional mitochondria, and providing efficient detoxification. In addition, I have eliminated or avoided any toxic substances over which I have control.

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But there is more to my journey than working with this alternative treatment protocol.  There have been things going on in my mind.  I have been aware of vivid dreams, insightful meditations, and sporadic depression.

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Dreams

In the past, I occasionally would remember a few of my dreams; most of the time I wouldn’t. Recently, it seems that I am dreaming constantly with more recall after I wake. These days, my dreams seem to be vivid and varied. I don’t believe the dreams that I remember have anything to do with my cancer treatment. Yet, these dreams may be telling me more than I can comprehend.

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I don’t have the tools to analyze my dreams. But they are memorable. Here are some examples. Remember, these dreams are those from a body that is not what it once was:

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  • I am driving down a road all by myself. All of a sudden, the car in front of me swerves into a car traveling in the opposite direction in its own lane. Both cars crash and explode in a blaze of fire. I remember calling 911, but then my memory of the dream ends.x
  • I am taking some type of exam that includes a series of math problems to solve. However, I can’t remember how to do them. In my real life, I was a wiz at math. Now, in the dream I am confounded and can’t remember how to move forward with the questions. I remember thinking that my brain is just not working properly anymore. Then, I wake up.x
  • For no reason I can recall, I find myself in a large office building. I am walking the halls and looking into its small offices. The offices are set up as dental operatories. The dentist, who is going from operatory to operatory, is a dentist I worked with about nine years ago. He died in September 2010.

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Meditation

I discovered meditation years ago. It was a natural process for me. I simply laid down in bed, closed my eyes, concentrated on my breaths, and then just allowed whatever thoughts to flow.

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Now, I meditate several times a week. My thoughts are varied and insightful. Most represent some of the tasks I want to complete; some are only fleeting ideas; but a few relate to my death and moving on. They don’t disturb me; they actually are comforting and pleasant.

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While not religious, I am spiritual. I have a belief where I am going after I enter the spirit world. And for me, this is calming and a beautiful thing.

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Depression

This has been the most disturbing for me. While I have complete comfort in my transition whenever it might come, I have had sporadic feelings of depression. I am a person who has always been busy doing something, which I have felt was productive by my definition. Now, since I am significantly less “busy”, I have occasional feelings of boredom and lack of purpose.

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These feelings don’t last. I get over them relatively quickly. But these thoughts are going through my head. Unfortunately, when I get depressed, I know it affects my wife, who has been my pillar of support forever!

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Moving Forward

I am feeling better physically. My major issue is fatigue that starts around 2 PM. I take care of it easily by taking a couple of naps in the afternoon. Also, I have intermittent discomfort, which I resolve with a few over-the-counter ibuprofen tablets as necessary.

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My routine, 2-month blood work is coming up this week. Then, a week later I visit my conventional oncologist to review my progress. So, look forward to me updating my test results shortly after my appointment with this specialist.

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I have no anger, and I place no blame on anyone for my situation. I definitely don’t have any self-recrimination. I feel blessed that I have had the time to make things right with family and close friends. And, I am taking the opportunity to share by “giving back” and “paying it forward” as much as I can.

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My belief is that I can fight and overcome the medical challenge within me. I will continue with my healing protocol as I have done up to this point. You’ll see me writing regularly, engaging actively in clinical research, and interacting socially and professionally.

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I’ll leave you with an excerpt of the lyrics from the song This Is Me[1] from the movie The Greatest Showman:

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I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

[1] © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

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7 Comments

  1. Dear Dr Danenberg

    A couple of comments:- in your first dream, you were not involved in the behaviour or madness that happened in front of you. In the second dream you were trying to solve a problem with formulae that you had learnt in the past – this did not work. In the last dream the other dentist/person is going from operating room to operating room, you are just observing him. The fact that he died by repeating what he always did – might be significant.

    It seems to me you have the prognosis, however you are carving your own way through the disease using new ideas and methods that seem right to you. This would imply that your dreams are encouraging you on your path

    Have you read Mind to Matter by Dawson Church? I have just stumbled upon it. Am not well with a cold at the moment so have time to read/listen. If I knew I had cancer – I would really, really listen!!

    Very best wishes to you
    Jenny

  2. Wow. You certainly are paying it forward. Your dreams are similar to mine which I have had as long as I rememer. I chalk them up to anxiety, of which I suffered terrible most of my life. I have just gotten hold of it since I started my optimal-health journey 8 years ago. I assume your anxiety is being released in your dreams, being so strong while awake.

    Anxiously awaiting your update after your appointment. Peace be with you and your family.

  3. Your dreams are so interesting. I have always had vivid dreams and like trying to figure out what my brain is trying to tell me. If I can be so bold, here is what I see in your dreams. The car dream seems to be an allegory for what you have experienced with your illness – you’re going through life minding your own business and then something unexpected and disastrous happens (your illness). The second dream seems like another allegory for you trying to figure out how to solve your problem. You know you have the skills, but putting them together to solve the problem is a mystery. The third is the most interesting. I have known several instances of people who have been “visited” by those who have already left this world, comforting and leading them into the next. Thank you for sharing your journey – it’s a lesson for everyone who has to go through something like this.

  4. Thank you for sharing this very personal journey with us, Dr. Dan. I’ve been keeping you in my prayers and meditations each day.

    I know you’ve been exploring a number of alternative options. I wonder if you’ve come across the studies of EMFs and how they’re related to the increase in so many illnesses, including cancer, anxiety, and depression. I stuck my head in the sand around this issue for years. Then smart meters went up in our neighborhood and my 4 year old and I experienced dramatic symptoms immediately.

    Physicians for Safe Technology is an excellent website with links to hundreds of peer-reviewed scientific studies showing the correlation to the plethora of illnesses we’re facing today. I’ve taken a number of steps to reduce my exposure, including disconnecting my Wi-Fi and using an ethernet cable for my computer as well as keeping my phone in airplane mode most of the time. https://mdsafetech.org

    Jeromy Johnson is an engineer who worked in Silicon Valley for years without experiencing issues until smart meters went up on his apartment building. I’ve done some Skype consults with him and he has a lot of great info on his website including a TEDx talk. https://www.emfanalysis.com

    Ray Pealer is a very knowledgeable EMF consultant who will come to your home and do an analysis and give you recommendations for remediation. http://www.emrsafety.net/index.html

    I’ve gotten meters and when I tested my electric toothbrush, the EMF levels were extreme. I always wondered why my gum issues got worse after I got it. I’ve gone back to using an old-fashioned toothbrush now.

    Just wanted to throw this out there as I believe reducing exposure as much as possible is essential for healing.

    Thank you for all you’ve done to help so many of us. Wishing you all the very best always.

  5. Dr. Danenberg,

    I enjoy reading your blog. I am a dental hygienist working in a holistic dental office. I started following your blog after hearing you on a Wellness Mama podcast. I was excited to hear of a periodontist who isn’t conventional!!

    Have you considered adding ASEA redox signaling molecules to your current supplements?

    I, myself, have only been taking them for 1 week because I was VERY skeptical when a patient (a highly respected and holistic midwife in my area) told me about them. I only looked into the product because she was the one who told me about it.

    After researching and hearing testimonials and listening to different doctors, I decided to try them because I have nothing to lose. My health issues are not as serious as what you are going through, but I think the product would be of benefit to you.

    I wish you well.

  6. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  7. Thank you Dr Danenberg. I have just read Health and Light by John N Ott. He did some research about light and cancer. It is fascinating. He made a movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOUA8UAEAdY
    Don’t let the music during the first minute or two put you off. Best wishes from Australia.


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